Merry Christmas!

Christmas Jokes!

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says,"What denomination?" The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."

Things to remember before the Christmas Party. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
4. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
5. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The chief of staff at the hospital remarked to the director of nursing that there seemed to be an awful lot of expectant nurses in their hospital.
As they were walking down the hall, he was becoming more and more concerned about a possible staff shortage as everyone seemed pregnant.
He began to ask the director when each pregnant nurse they passed was due. "When is she do?" "Some time in late September."
"How about her?" "Late September."
"And her?" "September."
"Jesus!" exclaimed the chief of staff. "How about her?" "I have no idea, sir. Norma wasn't at last year's Christmas Party."

Jennifer's Christmas Fitness Struggle (no joke!)

My eating hasn’t been on plan but at least I’ve been having something for breakfast. (230 calories, 23 g protein, 24g carb, 5g fat) And 3 out of 5 days this week I did SOMETHING for fitness. I ran on Tuesday in the rain for 30 mins and did 30 mins. on Wednesday and Thursday on our recumbent bike downstairs while watching the Food Channel. My thought was to at least still be kinda still in the groove of following a fitness lifestyle instead of giving it all up for gluttony for two weeks. My main downfall while I’ve been off work since Dec. 19 (to Jan. 2) is the constant glass of wine I have – after 2-3pm that is. It just makes the chores and baking go that much better, you know?

I know I really rely on the structure at the office too when it comes to meal times and even my workout. Bill delivers a protein smoothie to me while I get ready for work in the morning at about 7:30 am. That’s my first meal. Then at work for coffee about 10:30 I’ll have an egg on rye from the cafeteria or oatmeal and protein powder or a RTD chocolate shake for my mid-meal. Lunch time I go to the gym a short walk from the office. If I bring a cooked chicken breast from home I’ll get salad in the cafeteria to go with it. But often I’ll get a cold turkey wrap or cold roast beef wrap made fresh in the caf. Mid-afternoon snack will be a protein bar (170 cals. 17g protein, 17g carb 4g fat) or cottage cheese with frozen raspberries or shrimp and dip. Dinner is pork tenderloin done one of a thousand ways or chicken (ditto), or extra lean ground beef done one of many ways too. We also have ground turkey or turkey breast steaks often.

But hey, Christmas is a bit more lax. Cooked a wonderful Chicken Jerusalem (click for recipe) on Thursday night with brussel sprouts and boxed stuffing. Bill and I loved it and Aaron didn’t complain either. (always a good thing.) Chicken breasts with any sauce is a good thing! Oh, like Chicken Tikka Masala, or Butter Chicken on basmati…haven’t had that in a while. I guess next week is the week to get that out of our system – then its back on plan and only splurging on free days. We had Tacos on Monday. We ordered Pizza and KFC on Tuesday because Aaron had a friend over for a sleep-over. I didn’t think he would be ‘in-to’ the Adobo Pork Tenderloin with creamy cilantro sauce…we had saved that for Wednesday. Friday is always Pizza night but I hope to modify that in the New Year with a healthier homemade alternative…as I know my mom and dad got a pizza stone for Bill for Christmas. (He’s never met a pizza he didn’t like – he had the shirt to prove it).

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.