Golf day

At the lesson yesterday I worked on my stance, grip, swing and connecting the ball squarely but still hitting it under to skim the matt...
Unfortunately, I got to be in a lot of pain by the end of the lesson in my left foot. It seems the shoe is too narrow and I can feel the ball of my foot crumpling up and cramping. I was really bummed about it on the drive home but the thought struck me. It's still early enough in the afternoon. I can head to Nevada Bob's and get those Calloway's...it should be okay...I got my bonus...I certainly can't play a round with my foot hurting like that. It will be miserable...they were only $10...I can do this...without too much guilt. That is all what went through my mind. So I drove to NB's and tried on the Calloway's but I did not get them. They creased in a funny spot on my foot when I stepped and I was just not convinced I needed to be so 'stylish' on the course. People might think I'm a real player. I decided to go with an athletic shoe rather than the traditional looking shoe. They are very comfortable! They are going to be the best runner I have in the closet for awhile! Best thing is they were on sale. It was a better discount than the Golf for Gal’s discount. They were regular $99.99 but got them for $69.99. So, I looked at the tops I had been eyeing before. I bought myself a long sleeve white zip shirt. I love it. But it was expensive. It was $89.99 but I got 10% off. I've been baad. But I love the things I got AND I wangled myself a free shoe bag! I told the salesman and the manager about the shoe bags I saw at the Golf show and the manager knew the one's I was talking about and he said they didn't have any but offered this one. I said how much? They said no charge! Lucky me!















I was really rough to start today. The three ladies I played with were quite nice. My scores were really high. I got some 4 and 5's on the par 3's. But a few 5’s and 6’s and a 7.
I got better on the back 9 which is backwards for me usually. I started to get decent drives off the tee at the 10th hole. That's when I had the hot dog and a Smirnoff Ice...
I had some really nice chip shots with the 9 and 7 iron. The 5 played well for me on a couple short holes when I need it where they are tho
The first tee is the hardest because EVERYONE is there watching and there is a big water hazard right there. I think I lost 2 balls right off the bat there.














Water vs Wine (This one is for Pamela!)

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Doo Doo. However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting. WATER = Doo Doo WINE = HEALTH Free yourself of Doo Doo, drink WINE!!! It is better to drink wine and talk Doo Doo than to drink water and be full of shit.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing it as a public service. Have a nice day...

Husband daycare

The joke below reminds me of an incident I had a work last week. I saw one of the file clerks who does not work for our department, at our mail cubby holes and it looked like she was delivering mail. She had a bunch of interoffice envelopes on the counter. A few minutes later I notice all of our interoffice envelopes were gone! She bloody well came and cleaned us out instead of going down to the mailroom like I have to whenever we run out. She’s closer to the mailroom for crying out loud! I charged down to her department and said ‘Henrietta, what’s the big idea of taking all of our interoffice envelopes!?’ She was shocked and she said but I left some! I said no you didn’t! She said I did, I did. She insisted on showing me and walked back to my department and she went on and on about how she left some and ‘BUT YOU HAD SO MANY…” As it turned out there were a couple left but they were shoved way in the back and one would have to bend right over and dig back there to find them. I had to explain to her the point is, you can {bloody well}go down to the mailroom yourself, just like I have to get your interoffice envelopes! But you had so many! She went on again. She kept going around in circles like that and I had to leave. When I got to my desk I thought to myself…Bill Gates has lots of money – should I just go and help myself!? Geeze I just don’t understand how people can think like that. “But you have so much…”

Young Conservatives...

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.
Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a
very liberal Liberal and was very much in favour of the
redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father
was a rather staunch Conservative, a feeling she openly expressed.
Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the
Occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for
years harboured an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought
should be his. One day she was challenging her father on his
opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more
government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy
classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so
popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to
all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes
because she's too hung over." So her father asked his daughter, "Why
don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your
GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will
both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal
distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired
back, "That wouldn't be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades!
I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done
next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail
off!" The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently to his daughter,

"Welcome to the Conservative party."